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The word is DISENGAGE

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: to release from something that engages or involves. To release or detach oneself

I pride myself on keeping up with the news, history, the people in my world, and the daily demands of my life. But when it comes to going on a vacation, I take even more pride in my ability to disengage from it all.

Posted 1/23/23

My Story on Disengage

Due to the generosity and kindness of some friends, I was able to take a much-welcome vacation. After two flights, a forty-five-minute bus trip, and a 20-minute ferry ride, I arrived on a Caribbean Island in the US Virgin Islands. Laughingly, as we stepped onto the dock, greeted by Caribbean music, smiling hosts, and rum punch, I thought “Welcome to The White Lotus.” The drama of that Netflix series was nowhere to be seen during my stay, but the feeling of calmness and beauty afforded by this resort certainly was.

Gone from my mind were the timelines, guidelines, and headlines of daily life. Sure they would all be there when I returned home. But for now, I was officially off the grid and bathing in the organic way each day unfolded. Wind in my hair, sand beneath my toes, sun on my face. A Caribbean Island, where the biggest challenges of the day were deciding which beach to plant ourselves on and where to seek nourishment. A pretty great escape, right?

Right, but this is where I'm going to switch gears and let day-to-day life kick back in. Most people, myself included, rarely have the opportunity of escaping to a Caribbean Island when life gets challenging or stressful. But we do have the ability to disengage from daily stress by exercising that wonderful organ in our heads called our brain by escaping in our thoughts and our focus. And it only takes a few minutes for our body to respond. There's a whole physiology that goes along with this practice, but suffice it to say, that your body can relax you when you mindfully disengage from the stress. Disengaging is a learned behavior, one we can all embrace.

Here's an example of what I mean. I bore witness to the tension on one of my co-worker's faces during an unusually stressful day. Her eyes were welling up with tears and I could sense that panic was about to set in. No actual island could take her stress away at this moment. But, alternatively, she could disengage by mindfully guiding her body away from the stress and to somewhere calm and safe.

Disengaging for a few moments means reprogramming your mind to engage in whatever works for you. Some find it helpful to take deep cleansing breaths, while others may take a short walk. Some seek comfort in meditating, calling a friend, or listening to music. Perhaps a memory, of a happy time allows you to disengage from the stress and bring you somewhere else, if only for a few moments. Whatever you choose, the calming and healing effect is within your mind's eye, anywhere and anytime.

Maybe you find yourself re-living a moment on a beach, wind in your hair, sand beneath your toes, and sun on your face. That’s where I go, if only for a moment and without having to take two flights, a forty-five-minute bus trip, and a 20-minute ferry ride. Mind over matter is the power to draw strength from our minds no matter where we are and to then go about our day more refreshed, clear-headed and engaged.

If you find yourself stressing out with no idea how to disengage from it, you may want to talk to a Life Coach. I hope you reach out to me. Together we will discover the shift in mindset that works best for you.

To help get you started, I offer a free one-hour consultation.

Please e-mail me at to schedule an appointment. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope it has inspired and motivated you to take action to help ease your own daily stress.

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Updated: Jan 5

The word is UNITED

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: Made one, harmonious

I know it’s a cliche, but the beginning of a New Year is often a time to reflect on the past year. It’s a time to contemplate doing things differently or hoping to do things better in the new year. My reflection and my hope focus on the word - UNITED.

My Story on United

There are countries, institutions, organizations, and businesses professing the word United in their names; United States, United Kingdom, United Nations, United Airlines, and United Parcel Service (UPS). You see where I’m going with this. The word embraces the connection of people.

Over the holiday week, I experienced the joy of being part of a four-generation gathering of people. My mom, my daughter, my grandson, and myself. Four generations, different in age, in appearance, different in capabilities, and very different in their daily needs.

What unites us though is simple, and perhaps another of life’s cliches. The key that unites us is our love for one another. Do we agree on everything? Of course not. Do we agree on how any of us should live our lives? Not as much as any one of us might like. But like all people who have a strong connection, we do our best to respect each other’s ways. Mostly, we do our best to recognize that our differences should never be allowed to divide us in harmful ways. Common ground and common values are the glue that unites us.

If you need time or a boost in confidence to figure out how best to unite with someone you’re in conflict with, get to it. Whatever it takes, even if it takes you out of your comfort zone, it will be worth it. Helen Keller once said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

So I raise a glass to 2023 and toast the year ahead that it succeeds in breaking down walls, opening doors, and allowing more of us to stand united as a family, as a country, and as a world.

If you're having trouble uniting with someone or something in your life, it might be time to talk to a Life Coach, I hope you'll reach out to me. I offer a one-hour consultation, at no charge, to see if we're a good fit. Email me at to schedule a time. Thank you.

Happy New Year to my readers, and thank you for coming back time and again to read my blog. I hope they inspire and motivate you in ways that make your life richer and happier.

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Updated: Nov 1, 2022

The word is BELONG

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: "to be an attribute, part, adjunct, or function of a person or thing"

During my training as a Health and Life Coach, I learned that we come into the world with three basic human needs. These needs stay with us throughout our lives:

The need to be safe (protected)

The need to be loved (cared for and nurtured)

The need to belong (as in a family or a community).

Today, I want to focus on the need to belong.

My Story on Belong

For most of us, our introduction to belonging starts at birth. We are born into a family that loves and cares for us. As we get older we find ourselves leaving our safe, loving homes to seek out new places to belong.

Consider, for a moment, how we react when walking into a room full of strangers. Our instincts may draw us to the person in the room we have something in common with, maybe drawn to the way they look or dress. Sometimes we are drawn in by a conversation we overhear. If we feel comfortable, we introduce ourselves and engage. We seek common ground to fit in, to belong, and to find happiness.

What if you are a person who is uncomfortable at the thought of engaging with strangers?

Roy T. Bennett, author of “The Light In The Heart” advised, “Take responsibility for your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands”. At first glance, this might sound harsh. However, I see it as a means of motivating you to satisfy an unrealized desire to belong.

But it isn't always easy. As human beings, we are filled with all kinds of emotions that hold us back. When someone asks how we are, we say we’re fine. When someone asks if we need anything, we instinctively answer in the negative. Our responses are often driven by old habits and behaviors. Sometimes we don't want to be a burden or appear needy. But in holding on to our independence we might be compromising our happiness and missing out on opportunities to engage and belong.

As a Transition Coach, I open my door to you. If you're not sure you're ready to work with a coach, ask yourself the following few questions:

- Do I feel stuck and fear stepping out of my comfort zone?

If so, we will address your fear and move you forward.

- Do I procrastinate and feel bad about it?

We will work to motivate you. You’ll replace feelings of frustration and defeat with feelings of success and empowerment.

- Are old habits and behaviors holding me back?

We will find new ones that move you forward.

- Am I hiding a part of me that shines for fear of rejection or failure?

We will draw it out.

- Does a lifelong goal seem out of reach?

We will take another look.

Everyone is struggling with something and transitioning can be scary.

So, I ask you to consider the advice given by Roy T. Bennett, to take responsibility for your happiness.

Taking the first step can be hard, but you won't be taking it alone. As your coach, we'll work together. To get you started, I offer a 60-minute consultation at no charge.

Please email me at to schedule a time. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope it has motivated and inspired you.

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