LIFE IN A WORD

The word is BETTER

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: improved in health or mental attitude

Posted 10/23/23

In these challenging times, it's more important than ever to check in with our loved ones and find ways to support each other. Lately, I've avoided the greeting “How are you?" when interacting with family and friends. Why? Because most of us are not doing so great. We're confused, afraid, and, in some cases, falling into periods of depression. So instead of asking “How are you” I ask “What’s going on in your world today?” This open-ended question allows you to share, vent, and unload. The honest exchange of thoughts and emotions can have a very cathartic effect.

As a Life Coach, my goal is twofold:

1. To guide my clients on to a path of self-awareness and exploration

2. To help them uncover, navigate, and activate behaviors that lead to a better way of thinking, acting, and living

Although we can't ignore the events of the world, we can control how much of them we let in on any given day. We can turn off our cell phone alerts, limit our time on social media, and curtail our viewing of cable and network news. In addition to those actions, we can remind ourselves of the parts of our lives that make us smile and the parts we are most grateful for. If we can’t think of any, perhaps we can ask others how they find theirs. I’ll share some of mine with you now. And after you read my story, I encourage you to schedule your free one-hour consultation to help get you on a better path.

My Story on "Better"

I admit to being a bit of a news junkie. I start my day watching fifteen to twenty minutes of national news, just enough to catch the headlines and a bit more. Those fifteen to twenty minutes consistently leave me feeling exasperated. In March 2020 (the onset of the Pandemic), I decided to practice yoga for twenty to thirty minutes immediately following the morning news. Science has supported the fact that yoga is excellent for reducing stress.

In recent weeks, with the additional national and global unrest, I have added a 10-minute meditation practice to my morning routine. This routine has allowed me to start my day off feeling better. It can be an option for you too simply by going to the YouTube Channel and searching for "Yoga with Adriene".

I bring this up to drive home an important point. We have the power to incorporate something into our day that will make us feel better. It need not be a thirty-minute yoga class or ten minutes of meditation. In fact, for just a moment yesterday, the vibrant colors of the autumn leaves made the pond I drove past look like a painting come to life.

The warmth of my family gathering this week for the celebration of my mom's 92nd birthday instilled a deep sense of gratitude for still having her in our lives.

The possibilities for feeling better are there if we take a moment to look around and notice them. Simply walking in your neighborhood could result in a friendly encounter with a neighbor.

Consider the look on the face of an elderly person when you stop by to simply say hello. I did just that yesterday. As she opened her front door, you couldn't help but notice the smile that came to her face.

Kind exchanges make people feel better.

Doing any of these things doesn’t make life perfect or erase sadness or pain, but doing them more often allows for those moments to take root. And the more we focus on those happy moments the lower the impact of that which brings us down. And before you know it, you’re training your mind to think better, feel better, and show the world the better side of you. And that my friends can be contagious. So take a few minutes today to smile at someone you pass in a store or on the street. Call someone to tell them you love them.

Take the time to make yourself and someone else feel better. If we all do our part, there will be more to smile about, I guarantee it. And that sounds really good about now.

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Life is filled with challenges, and having the right tools makes a huge difference in how you manage them. As your Life Coach, I will provide you with those tools. I invite you to reach out to me, so we can get started. I know it will be time well spent.

I offer a free one-hour consultation. Please email me at innervoicelifecoach08@gmail.com to schedule an appointment.

LIFE IN A WORD

The word is ENOUGH

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: in or to a degree or quantity that satisfies or is sufficient or necessary for satisfaction.

Posted 9/26/23

My story on ENOUGH

Every day seems to come with more challenges and less time to take them on. With so many tasks swirling around in our heads, words like stressed, anxious, and worried take over even before we get out of bed. Throwing the covers over our heads seems like a great idea, although not an option.

However, setting realistic goals is. So the question comes down to how do you determine what's realistic. What will be enough?

As a Life Coach, I help my clients uncover the answers. I start by advocating actions like making lists, taking small steps, and brain dumping because what you have to accomplish on any given day may impact your mood, your mental and physical health, and your ability to adapt to your surroundings.

Let’s focus on THE LIST first:

The list has three categories: Urgent/Important/Flexible

URGENT - Must be completed today.

IMPORTANT - It would be good to complete these today.

FLEXIBLE - When I run out of time, I know these can wait.

Under the category of “Urgent”, taking care of oneself (self-care) should be at the top of your list. Simply stated, we are at our best when well-rested, well-nourished, and clear-headed.

Next, we’ll focus on SMALL STEPS:

I advocate committing to a healthy morning boost for yourself. This answers the call for self-care. If you can, wake up 20 minutes earlier to get in a relaxing (rather than a rushed) shower, a quiet meditation, or a short walk. This healthy boost of energy, first thing in the morning, allows for a positive start to your day.

Another example of a small step is to ask for help. Although this comes with resistance, give it a try. The results may pleasantly surprise you. Consider making a small change to your daily routine. It could be something as simple as sharing breakfast responsibilities. Maybe let someone else do it three times a week.

And lastly, and this is my favorite, the BRAIN DUMP:

Remember all those thoughts swirling around in your mind first thing in the morning, stressing you out, increasing your anxiety, and making you worry? Unload them. Truly, write them down. Get them out of your head. Add them to your "to-do" list on your cell phone or on a piece of paper. For example:

• I’m worried about - being late for an appointment.

• I'm anxious about making a mistake at work or home.

• I'm worried about more of the same chaos today.

Here's an interesting statistic to contemplate. A study conducted by Psychology Today revealed that 80% of what we spend our time worrying about never happens. That bears repeating. 80% of what we spend our time worrying about NEVER HAPPENS. So I encourage you to brain dump and focus on the 20% of the things you can change, accomplish, and control. It will free your mind of the anxiety your lack of control robs you of.

Most importantly, even if you can’t accomplish all the things on your list, on any given day, celebrate the ones you did. Allow yourself to know you did the best you could and that was okay, in fact, that was enough!

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If you’re having trouble managing your day or your life, it might be time to talk to a Life Coach. I encourage you to reach out to me. I am currently scheduling appointments for October and November. Email me at innervoicelifecoach08@gmail.com. I also invite you to visit my website to learn more about my practice bit.ly/3srFKL8

"LIFE IN A WORD"

The Word is GOTCHA

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: an unexpected usually disconcerting challenge, revelation, or catch. Also; an attempt to embarrass, expose, or disgrace someone (such as a politician) with a gotcha.

Posted 4/24/23

I have been contemplating writing about this word for a few weeks now. Mindful of its content, my goal is to deliver a message that embraces the importance of truth and respect. I hope I have succeeded.

My Story on GOTCHA

When I hear the word “GOTCHA" I pick up on a distinct inflection in the person's voice. I also take note of their proud as a peacock (full feathered) stance. Both grossly accentuate the negative message inflicted by one human being on another. It is a painful image of arrogance and disrespect.

I envision “Gotcha” moments as a dance designed to exploit, with fact or fiction (it doesn’t seem to matter which), a specific agenda. Respect, common decency, and honesty are replaced with words meant to embarrass, malign, or take a person down a notch or two. Sometimes the intent is far worse.

The proud as a peacock "gotcha" movement is harmful to individuals, communities, and nations. And when words with cruel intentions go viral, they can breed retaliation. In cases like that, we can all agree that everyone loses.

When I ask myself what kind of person enjoys making others feel this way, unfortunately, the answer I keep coming up with is too many. Bullies on the playground, disrupters on social media platforms, politicians, co-workers, spouses, friends, family, and foes contribute to the "gotcha" movement.

Imagine for a moment if all this negative energy turned positive. What if the “gotcha" movement reversed course to establish a talk and listen to each other approach setting boundaries against mean-speak or “gotcha” moments?

I suggest, in the name of positive change, we take a step back and ask ourselves a few questions:

1. When did lying or cruelty to our fellow man become accepted or normalized?

2. How can we make truth, respect, acceptance, and caring the norm again (or for the first time if it never really was for some)?

Until we have those answers, maybe we start a movement of our own. We can call it the “Kindness" movement. Instead of catching people off guard and hurting them, we advocate for understanding and listening to each other with empathy and curiosity. Maybe then we'll realize we have more in common than we thought and will stop hurting each other.

“Gotcha’s” happens in the home, in the workplace, among friends, and in the political and economic arena. I think it's safe to say they affect all of us at one time or another.

If you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of the “gotcha” dance and want to make a change, I'd like to help. As your coach, we'll uncover the strength within you to motivate your own kindness movement and see how you can help make it grow.

I offer a free one-hour consultation to get things started. To schedule an appointment email me at innervoicelifecoach08@gmail.com or visit my website at bit.ly/3srFKL8.