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Updated: Dec 4, 2023

The word is HATE

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury

Posted 12/4/23

Hate is my least favorite word in the English language. Everything about the word makes me reject it and the damage it causes. It is a path I never choose to take. In my opinion, it is a path none of us should ever take, and yet it seems to be all around us.

My Story on Hate

I recently came across a Native American story that inspired me.

"A grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him, struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love, and kindness. The other is the wolf of fear, greed, and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?" asks the young boy. "Whichever one you feed" is the reply.”

From a very early age, I was taught that hate never solved anything. I learned that it does not come from strength. Hate comes from fear and in many cases from weakness.

Hate grows when left to its own devices. People who hate have the potential to destroy everything in their way without remorse. I wholeheartedly reject feeding the wolf of fear, greed, and hatred that may reside inside of me.

It is one of the reasons why I became a “Health and Life” Coach.

I encourage my clients who are wrought with anger and pain to put into action steps that allow them to grow and move forward, rather than to wallow in emotions that evoke hate. I encourage them to feed the wolves of peace, love, and kindness. I provide them with tools that empower them. They learn what they can control and what they cannot. I teach them empathy and curiosity. I steer them away from frustration and anger.

Life is hard, not always, but often enough. And the challenges we have to overcome grow even more complex with hate as an answer. I am sure of that.

I believe life improves when we recognize and focus on three basic birthrights. Three rights that every child born into this world deserves and should hold onto throughout their lives:

  1. The right to feel safe

  2. The right to belong

  3. The right to be loved

There is no right to hate on this list.

To expand on these rights, please read on.

The right to feel safe. At an early age, we teach our children to look both ways before crossing the street, not to touch a hot stove and not to talk to strangers. We want them to be safe. Despite our best efforts, none of us are always safe. But it is a right we should do our best to preserve.

The right to belong. Belonging comes from situations where common ground and a sense of community live. Families establish belonging with each other, religious groups, student groups, parent groups, musicians, actors, professionals, politicians, artists, and teams. The list is endless.

The right to be loved. That starts at birth, too. When a child comes into this world they have the right to be cared for and loved. As they grow, that right follows them. My maternal grandmother always made each of her sixteen grandchildren feel special and loved. I have done the same with my kids and my grandkids. This feeling brings joy and can be contagious when shared. Hate has the opposite impact. It destroys and tears people apart.

I want to leave you with the words of Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist, philosopher, and holocaust survivor who stated the following: “Everything can be taken from a man, but one thing; the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way.”

I learned with my Health & Life Coaching tools and through a program on Mental Fitness and the power of Positive Intelligence* that “given any set of circumstances, I can choose my way”.

I can help you do the same by:

  • Heeding the call of your three birth rights

  • Working on your power of positive intelligence

  • Showing up with empathy and curiosity

  • Feeding the peaceful, loving, and kind wolf inside of you


Looking to learn more about my practice and this program on Mental Fitness and Positive intelligence?* I invite you to visit my website: to get all the details.

I offer a free one-hour consultation with no obligations. I encourage you to take advantage of this opportunity to enhance your life and reach your goals.

*Mental Fitness program created by Shirzad Chamire. Author of the NYT bestseller "Positive Intelligence".

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