Updated: Nov 1, 2022
The word is BELONG
Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: "to be an attribute, part, adjunct, or function of a person or thing"
During my training as a Health and Life Coach, I learned that we come into the world with three basic human needs. These needs stay with us throughout our lives:
The need to be safe (protected)
The need to be loved (cared for and nurtured)
The need to belong (as in a family or a community).
Today, I want to focus on the need to belong.
My Story on Belong
For most of us, our introduction to belonging starts at birth. We are born into a family that loves and cares for us. As we get older we find ourselves leaving our safe, loving homes to seek out new places to belong.
Consider, for a moment, how we react when walking into a room full of strangers. Our instincts may draw us to the person in the room we have something in common with, maybe drawn to the way they look or dress. Sometimes we are drawn in by a conversation we overhear. If we feel comfortable, we introduce ourselves and engage. We seek common ground to fit in, to belong, and to find happiness.
What if you are a person who is uncomfortable at the thought of engaging with strangers?
Roy T. Bennett, author of “The Light In The Heart” advised, “Take responsibility for your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands”. At first glance, this might sound harsh. However, I see it as a means of motivating you to satisfy an unrealized desire to belong.
But it isn't always easy. As human beings, we are filled with all kinds of emotions that hold us back. When someone asks how we are, we say we’re fine. When someone asks if we need anything, we instinctively answer in the negative. Our responses are often driven by old habits and behaviors. Sometimes we don't want to be a burden or appear needy. But in holding on to our independence we might be compromising our happiness and missing out on opportunities to engage and belong.
As a Transition Coach, I open my door to you. If you're not sure you're ready to work with a coach, ask yourself the following few questions:
- Do I feel stuck and fear stepping out of my comfort zone?
If so, we will address your fear and move you forward.
- Do I procrastinate and feel bad about it?
We will work to motivate you. You’ll replace feelings of frustration and defeat with feelings of success and empowerment.
- Are old habits and behaviors holding me back?
We will find new ones that move you forward.
- Am I hiding a part of me that shines for fear of rejection or failure?
We will draw it out.
- Does a lifelong goal seem out of reach?
We will take another look.
Everyone is struggling with something and transitioning can be scary.
So, I ask you to consider the advice given by Roy T. Bennett, to take responsibility for your happiness.
Taking the first step can be hard, but you won't be taking it alone. As your coach, we'll work together. To get you started, I offer a 60-minute consultation at no charge.
Please email me at email@example.com to schedule a time. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope it has motivated and inspired you.