"LIFE IN A WORD"

The word is COURAGE

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”

Posted 4/28/22

For the first time ever, the JFK Profile in Courage Foundation has recognized not one but five outstanding individuals for their commitment to preserving democracy nationally and globally.

For those not familiar with the Profiles In Courage Award:

“Since 1989 the Kennedy family and the JFK Library Foundation have used the Profiles in Courage Award to celebrate the qualities of political courage that JFK admired most. Brave public servants who made courageous decisions without regard for personal or professional consequences. Putting their careers and lives on the line in standing up to tyranny and democracy in the world.”

Among the five recipients of this year's Profile In Courage Award is Volodymyr Zelensky, President of Ukraine.

My Story on Courage

When I think of the word courage, it is hard to look anywhere other than at the face of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. He is a shining example of courage. A leader whose actions we witness in real-time every day. He reaches out in all ways possible to secure the lives of his citizens and the future of his country - and all at great personal risk. He is not super human or perfect, but still I am in awe of him because he represents all that is decent in a human being. He stands for, truth, strength in the face of adversity, empathy, integrity, generosity, gratitude, and most of all courage.

Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am an eternal optimist. I seek out the silver lining in every situation. Sometimes people want to pour water over my head to wake me up from the puffy, white cloud of optimism, I’m floating on. But I am not deterred. Volodymyr Zelensky has confirmed my optimism is real and what he stands for is contagious. Because standing alongside him are courageous men and women rallying to the call of freedom over tyranny every day. And it doesn't stop there. He has tapped into the inner voice of many. The voice that distinguishes right from wrong, good from evil, and action from complacency.

Think about all the people donating to or working with the World Central Kitchen and other organizations heeding the call to help those who cannot help themselves. Led by Chief Executive Chef Jose Andres, the WCK and all who work under that umbrella are putting others before self in a war-torn country and surrounding countries by providing a haven for the millions of refugees fleeing the horrors of war. That takes courage.

As I mentioned earlier, there were five recipients of the Profiles in Courage Award this year, something that has never happened before. Imagine for a moment if a wave of courage spread the way the Pandemic did. If people, young and old, in countries far and wide dared to stand up for what is right regardless of personal or professional consequences. Think about what that world might look like.

Doing the right thing isn’t always popular and often comes with consequences. But if this is the beginning of a trend, then I say, welcome to my puffy, white cloud of optimism. Or better yet, I invite you to find one of your own. Let all the puffy, white clouds take over the gloomy skies fostered by weakness, intimidation, and cowardice.

Barack Obama, upon receiving the 2017 Profiles In Courage Award at the JFK Library in Boston, echoed the beliefs of JFK when he said:

“Courage requires something more than just the absence of fear. Any fool can be fearless. Courage, true courage, derives from that sense of who we are, what are our best selves, what are our most important commitments, and the belief that we can dig deep and do hard things for the enduring benefit of others.”

Be the hero of your own story by setting an example for the ones who are only in it for themselves. Find your courage, like the Cowardly Lion did in the famed Wizard of Oz. Remember, at the end of his journey neither Dorothy or the Wizard gave him his courage, they merely helped him to realize that he was carrying it inside himself all along.

Congratulations President Zelensky and thank you for reminding us what it means to have courage.

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If you are looking for help finding your courage, standing up for yourself, or to help someone else, it might be time to talk to a Life Coach. I hope you’ll reach out to me. Thank you for reading my blog and for checking in next week for a new posting of “Life In A Word”.

"LIFE IN A WORD"

The Word: BELIEFS

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: “something that is accepted, considered to be true, or held as an opinion: something believed"

Posted 4/20/22

This blue and yellow image, is posted in support of the Ukrainian people and their undaunted belief in their country.

Beliefs can help to build us up and they can just as easily be instrumental in knocking us down. I chose this important word to reflect on today because the weight "beliefs" carry has an enormous impact on how we live our lives.

My Story on Beliefs

When I was twelve years old, a so-called “friend” started making fun of my physical appearance, specifically my hair. She said I had “dog hair”. I had no idea what that meant, but I knew it wasn’t meant to make me feel good about myself. Quite the contrary, it was meant to hurt and embarrass me. For my part, it mostly confused me because, ironically, all my life people had complimented me on my hair. The thought that there was anything wrong with it didn’t compute.

My earliest memory, was when I was four years old. Every Saturday afternoon, I would get in the car with my mom and go with her to the “beauty parlor” (that’s what they called hair salons back in the sixties). Inevitably, people would come up to us and say what beautiful hair I had. It happened all the time. For a while, being a young and impressionable kid, I believed I was the only person in the whole world who had thick, auburn hair. Why else would people be making such a fuss, I thought. Remember, I was four!

I inherited my hair from my dad, who also received a lot of compliments. It was not something I controlled or asked for, but the compliments allowed me to believe that I had something I could feel good about. I had nice hair. Did it empower me, like in the story of Samson and Delilah? No, of course not. But did compliments boost my confidence in my appearance? I think they probably did. Had I believed I had “dog hair” I might have been more self-conscious about my appearance and less confident.

Let’s go back to the mean girl scenario for a minute. From everything I’d been told over my vast twelve years on this planet, having dog hair was not one of them. Ironically, I remember laughing once the hurt subsided, because I had realized my hair was fine, but there was actually something about her hair that wasn’t quite right. Suffice it to say, if I were a “mean girl” I could probably have called her out and embarrassed her about the way her hair looked. I didn’t because my mom had always taught me if you don’t have something nice to say about someone, then don’t say anything at all. I also realized that I wouldn’t want to say something that would upset a friend and cause her to believe something was wrong with her. This “friend” had given me a sense of how it felt when someone did that and it didn’t feel good.

Mean boys and girls exist, and some of them grow up to be mean men and women.

Beliefs, real or falsely instilled in us by others, are powerful and they can stay with us, sometimes for a lifetime. Think about this, what if a friend said you were a terrible tennis player. Do you stop playing tennis because you believe she’s right or do you take more lessons and possibly end up being another Serena Williams? Or what if someone said you were stupid because you had a different academic aptitude than they did? It is well documented that Albert Einstein, a theoretical physicist and Nobel Prize winner, failed the entrance exams, to the polytechnic school in Zurich, in the language, zoology, and botany sections. Oh, and by the way, it is also said that this patent clerk, was so busy trying to support his family that he stopped combing his hair and visiting the barber. I wonder what would have happened if the great Albert Einstein had become distraught and distracted from his life's work because people had made fun of his hair.

There is so much to be learned about a person by understanding what their beliefs are and more importantly where those beliefs came from in the first place. What you believe about yourself matters. Believe in yourself, understand your strengths and your weaknesses and use your words carefully when criticizing others. Misguided beliefs about a person might deprive the rest of us of the contributions of a genius.

"LIFE IN A WORD"

The Word: Contentedness

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: “feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation."

We are living in challenging times. That is why it is so important to step back, take a breath or two and embrace the good moments. Find contentedness.

My Story on Contentedness

I attended a lecture a few years ago on stress. Ironically, it was while I was on a spa weekend.

A good friend invited me to escape the real world for a weekend of self-care. I imagined it would be a time to relax, with fellow escapees and embrace a world of healthy living, meditation, massage, and exercise. And yet, when it came time to choose a lecture, I decided to attend the one on stress. Go figure!

The speaker, a woman of around thirty, welcomed us. She walked around the room, making eye contact with each attendee, as she proceeded to ask us to get comfortable in our chairs and let go of any tension we might be holding in our bodies.

Feeling the lightness around her, she began her talk by describing how even on a spa weekend, we allow stress to enter our bodies. She went on to tell the story of a woman, who was scheduling a massage. If you’ve ever gotten a massage, you know that there are many types to choose from. This particular woman had narrowed them down to two. She chose a hot rock massage over a deep tissue massage. The relaxation element, the massage was supposed to deliver was, unfortunately, lost on this woman. It was lost because she had spent most of the time the masseuse was applying hot rocks to her body, stressing over whether she should have chosen the deep tissue massage instead.

That lecture was about 20 years ago, but I remember it well and do my best to abide by her words because the words made sense. She said, BE WHERE YOU ARE! I still have the t-shirt they gave us that weekend espousing the mantra.

I think it’s fair to say that most if not all of us have found ourselves in a situation where we can’t relax long enough to enjoy where we are in the moment. With that thought in mind, let me share some good advice I was given as my son’s wedding was approaching. I was told to take time to stop and just look around the room. Take it all in. Forget if the caterer is getting the food out quickly or if the band is taking too long of a break. Scan the room, embrace the people and the celebration they’ve all come to share. Be where you are.

One last note, as the holidays approach this weekend, be mindful of why you’re together. Maybe leave politics, the war, and all the rest of the noise outside the room you’re in. Embrace the moments. Choose each other to be content with.