The Word is CHOICE
Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary - the act or opportunity of choosing or the thing chosen. Choosing: to select freely and after consideration
“Today I make great choices because they are made with full awareness”. Deepak Chopra
Given the unsettling events happening across the world, I have made a conscious choice to seek peace. I do this through selective engagement—allowing myself to step back from sources of negativity and stress occasionally, and instead embrace what brings me peace. It’s a mindful practice that lets me focus on the joy within my control while minimizing the impact of what’s beyond my reach.
My Story on Choice
My mom, a 93-year-old stroke survivor of five years, has lost much of her independence. Some mornings, when I see the look of defeat on her face, I tell her it’s okay to feel overwhelmed by life’s difficulties. We all need moments of pause to acknowledge the weight of our struggles. But then, I remind her to lift her head and take in the beauty that still surrounds her—the photos, paintings, music, and memories that fill her apartment. I encourage her to look beyond the immediate challenges and into the vast space of hope and possibility.
I’m not advocating burying your head in the sand, far from it. I’m encouraging those around me to consciously shift focus to the simple moments that bring a smile, a laugh, or a sense of accomplishment. It’s about taking control of your thoughts and actions in ways that lift you, rather than allowing external forces to tear you down.
Here are some choices I've made that I'd like to offer you:
1. Selective engagement a.k.a. selective avoidance. It protects my mental health and allows me to focus on the life I love. For example, I limit my news consumption to 15 minutes in the morning. This brief update is enough to keep me informed, without overwhelming me or setting a negative tone for the day.
2. Minimize the worry. Most of what we worry about never happens. Research shows that 80% of our fears are unfounded. I hold on to that statistic, reminding myself not to waste energy on things I can’t control or that may never come to pass.
3. Practice gratitude daily. As part of my morning routine, I meditate. Meditation allows me to contemplate the good in my life. Gratitude shifts our focus to the positive, even in difficult times.
4. Three good things. When negative thoughts creep in, I pause and ask myself: What are three good things about today? Neuroscientists have discovered that thinking of three positive things can quickly shift our mood from down to uplifted. Try it yourself, and you’ll notice how the smile replaces the frown. Thankfully, our brains are wired this way. This is an option with an unlimited lifespan.
As a Life Coach, I understand how avoidance is often viewed negatively, as a way to escape or ignore life’s challenges. The common wisdom is that we must confront our problems because, if left unchecked, they often grow more difficult to face. And while this is true, I also believe there are times when a thoughtful, temporary retreat can preserve our mental and emotional health. Sometimes, in particularly troubling times—whether illness, loss, or world events—stepping back to protect your peace is not only healthy, it’s necessary.
I encourage everyone struggling with life’s many challenges to take a moment to imagine the sun on your face—that feeling of warmth and calm. Know that every day we have the power to lift our heads out of the darkness and into the light. And it’s in that light that we find our strength.
If you are struggling, let's have a conversation. There is no cost or obligation, just an opportunity to share your thoughts with a certified Life Coach. After our discussion, if you feel uplifted and ready to make some changes, on your own, that's great. But if you'd like to have more conversations I welcome the opportunity to work with you as your coach. Please follow this link to contact me and set up an appointment. Thank you.
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