Updated: Mar 24, 2022
Welcome to My Life Coaching Blog.
The word is: ACCEPTANCE
Definition: Per Merriam-Webster Dictionary: "The act of accepting someone or something"
Posted March 22, 2022
At various times, life as you imagined it will fall out of line. When it does, your best recourse will be acceptance. And it’s important to note that acceptance is not weakness, quite the contrary. Acceptance is having the strength to realize there is a way to lighten your load, even when it’s weighing you down in ways you could never have imagined. Acceptance allows you to move on.
For this weeks’ blog, I’ve written two short stories. I hope they inspire and motivate you.
My Stories on Acceptance:
Story #1: LIFE
"We’re having a baby" a woman says to her partner. More joyful words were never spoken. Sharing them with friends and family enhances the experience. There are celebrations, perhaps a reveal party, and a baby shower. Nine months later you bring your baby home. There are more celebrations. Friends and family are coming by bearing gifts and good cheer.
Things settle down, and it’s just you two and this beautiful bundle of joy. Sure, you’re prepared for a few sleepless nights, and there is most definitely a learning curve that keeps you going down all kinds of new and obscure roads - diaper rash, projectile vomiting, barking coughs (what the heck was that horrible sound coming from our beautiful baby's mouth?), fevers, and crying, oh yes, lots and lots of crying.
A few months later, there comes a phone call, from one of those friends who visited bearing gifts. This currently childfree couple invites you to a concert. Your favorite band is coming to town she says and they have managed to obtain the best seats in the house and backstage passes to boot! Sure, you say. We wouldn't miss it. THANK YOU!
When you hang up the phone you look around your house. You see the random toys strewn all over the place, the unsightly food-stained onesies permeating an unseemly smell you literally gag from. There is a field of play stations providing shapes and colors recommended to keep your baby stimulated and engaged so her brain can develop according to the stages you have voraciously been reading about all these months. And then comes the realization that you are exhausted, not only in the morning, not only in the afternoon or at night. Oh no, you are exhausted all the time! A concert they say. You can't help but laugh out loud.
The birth of a child takes the focus off the parents and lands it squarely on the sweet face of the baby. Without us, you say, she quite literally could not survive. So you accept this change in priorities. You embrace the miracle of this new life that has totally rattled your world and you apologetically call your friend back to say thanks, but we’re not going to be able to make it this time. Note you are consciously leaving the door open for some time in the future, a time when you feel somewhat comfortable wrangling your parents into babysitting. Maybe you'll even convince them to take the baby overnight! You accept this. This is acceptable, for now.
Story #2: LOSS
I believe we should all live our lives as best we can, with kindness, compassion, and love. For we don’t know when it will be taken from us.
My dad was a Captain in the New York City Fire Department for twenty years. He moved down to Florida at age 45 to start all over again in Miami. His status in Florida was “rookie” and he had to undergo all the rigorous training of a twenty-year-old. Not only did he succeed, but he became a mentor for all in his class due to his years of experience working the somewhat challenging streets of New York City.
In April of 1996, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Here was a man who appeared to be in perfect physical shape. At 65 my dad had a six-pack and I’m not talking about the beer. He loved his job and the fact that he spent most of it saving other people's lives. He was extremely healthy until he wasn’t. He died in May of 1998.
I read Rabbi Harold Kushner’s book titled “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”.
I went through the five stages of grief laid out in Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's book “On Death and Dying” - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and only then, Acceptance.
And I cried a lot. I still cry. Did he die too soon? Yes. Did he miss out on watching my children grow up and did he lose out on meeting his two great-grandsons? Yes, he did. But mostly I accept and remember all the good times. I have pictures of my dad in strategically spaced places in my home. He is never far from my vision or my thoughts. Did he die too soon, yes, but I have learned to accept this.
I know it sounds cliche, but my best advice to myself and to you is to live every day, be true to who you are, and learn that there is strength in letting go and moving on. Acceptance is often the key that lets us do all of that.
If you are looking for some guidance on how to accept something you are currently facing, it might be time to talk to a Life Coach. I hope you'll reach out to me.
Thank you for reading my blog and for checking back next week when the word will be BALANCE.