LIFE IN A WORD

The word is ENOUGH

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: in or to a degree or quantity that satisfies or is sufficient or necessary for satisfaction.

Posted 9/26/23

My story on ENOUGH

Every day seems to come with more challenges and less time to take them on. With so many tasks swirling around in our heads, words like stressed, anxious, and worried take over even before we get out of bed. Throwing the covers over our heads seems like a great idea, although not an option.

However, setting realistic goals is. So the question comes down to how do you determine what's realistic. What will be enough?

As a Life Coach, I help my clients uncover the answers. I start by advocating actions like making lists, taking small steps, and brain dumping because what you have to accomplish on any given day may impact your mood, your mental and physical health, and your ability to adapt to your surroundings.

Let’s focus on THE LIST first:

The list has three categories: Urgent/Important/Flexible

URGENT - Must be completed today.

IMPORTANT - It would be good to complete these today.

FLEXIBLE - When I run out of time, I know these can wait.

Under the category of “Urgent”, taking care of oneself (self-care) should be at the top of your list. Simply stated, we are at our best when well-rested, well-nourished, and clear-headed.

Next, we’ll focus on SMALL STEPS:

I advocate committing to a healthy morning boost for yourself. This answers the call for self-care. If you can, wake up 20 minutes earlier to get in a relaxing (rather than a rushed) shower, a quiet meditation, or a short walk. This healthy boost of energy, first thing in the morning, allows for a positive start to your day.

Another example of a small step is to ask for help. Although this comes with resistance, give it a try. The results may pleasantly surprise you. Consider making a small change to your daily routine. It could be something as simple as sharing breakfast responsibilities. Maybe let someone else do it three times a week.

And lastly, and this is my favorite, the BRAIN DUMP:

Remember all those thoughts swirling around in your mind first thing in the morning, stressing you out, increasing your anxiety, and making you worry? Unload them. Truly, write them down. Get them out of your head. Add them to your "to-do" list on your cell phone or on a piece of paper. For example:

• I’m worried about - being late for an appointment.

• I'm anxious about making a mistake at work or home.

• I'm worried about more of the same chaos today.

Here's an interesting statistic to contemplate. A study conducted by Psychology Today revealed that 80% of what we spend our time worrying about never happens. That bears repeating. 80% of what we spend our time worrying about NEVER HAPPENS. So I encourage you to brain dump and focus on the 20% of the things you can change, accomplish, and control. It will free your mind of the anxiety your lack of control robs you of.

Most importantly, even if you can’t accomplish all the things on your list, on any given day, celebrate the ones you did. Allow yourself to know you did the best you could and that was okay, in fact, that was enough!

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If you’re having trouble managing your day or your life, it might be time to talk to a Life Coach. I encourage you to reach out to me. I am currently scheduling appointments for October and November. Email me at innervoicelifecoach08@gmail.com. I also invite you to visit my website to learn more about my practice bit.ly/3srFKL8

"LIFE IN A WORD"

The Word is GOTCHA

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: an unexpected usually disconcerting challenge, revelation, or catch. Also; an attempt to embarrass, expose, or disgrace someone (such as a politician) with a gotcha.

Posted 4/24/23

I have been contemplating writing about this word for a few weeks now. Mindful of its content, my goal is to deliver a message that embraces the importance of truth and respect. I hope I have succeeded.

My Story on GOTCHA

When I hear the word “GOTCHA" I pick up on a distinct inflection in the person's voice. I also take note of their proud as a peacock (full feathered) stance. Both grossly accentuate the negative message inflicted by one human being on another. It is a painful image of arrogance and disrespect.

I envision “Gotcha” moments as a dance designed to exploit, with fact or fiction (it doesn’t seem to matter which), a specific agenda. Respect, common decency, and honesty are replaced with words meant to embarrass, malign, or take a person down a notch or two. Sometimes the intent is far worse.

The proud as a peacock "gotcha" movement is harmful to individuals, communities, and nations. And when words with cruel intentions go viral, they can breed retaliation. In cases like that, we can all agree that everyone loses.

When I ask myself what kind of person enjoys making others feel this way, unfortunately, the answer I keep coming up with is too many. Bullies on the playground, disrupters on social media platforms, politicians, co-workers, spouses, friends, family, and foes contribute to the "gotcha" movement.

Imagine for a moment if all this negative energy turned positive. What if the “gotcha" movement reversed course to establish a talk and listen to each other approach setting boundaries against mean-speak or “gotcha” moments?

I suggest, in the name of positive change, we take a step back and ask ourselves a few questions:

1. When did lying or cruelty to our fellow man become accepted or normalized?

2. How can we make truth, respect, acceptance, and caring the norm again (or for the first time if it never really was for some)?

Until we have those answers, maybe we start a movement of our own. We can call it the “Kindness" movement. Instead of catching people off guard and hurting them, we advocate for understanding and listening to each other with empathy and curiosity. Maybe then we'll realize we have more in common than we thought and will stop hurting each other.

“Gotcha’s” happens in the home, in the workplace, among friends, and in the political and economic arena. I think it's safe to say they affect all of us at one time or another.

If you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of the “gotcha” dance and want to make a change, I'd like to help. As your coach, we'll uncover the strength within you to motivate your own kindness movement and see how you can help make it grow.

I offer a free one-hour consultation to get things started. To schedule an appointment email me at innervoicelifecoach08@gmail.com or visit my website at bit.ly/3srFKL8.

"LIFE IN A WORD"

The Word is FEAR

Definition: Merriam-Webster Dictionary: To be afraid of. An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. Anxious alarm.

Posted 4/3/23

My Story on Fear

What is fear? Why does it hold such a significant place in our lives? Anthropologists might argue that fear is part of our basic survival instinct of fight or flight. When faced with the threat of a saber-toothed tiger, the caveman had two choices, fight and kill the tiger to feed his family or flight. Flight meant to run and live to fight the tiger another day. Survival is key. Think it through and always choose life.

The message is pretty much the same today.

Fear may challenge our courage and our confidence. So we might ask ourselves if we're up to the challenge.

Fear may question our ability to confront the many complexities of life. Again, we might ask ourselves if we're up to the challenge.

It was Viktor Frankl* who said "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

This statement applies to fears of all kinds. It is giving yourself the power to respond thoughtfully and not impulsively. And if you do fail, chances are there is a lesson to be learned and you’ll do better the next time or the time after that.

Think for a moment how effective you would be if you weren’t afraid to speak your mind or take a step in a direction that would improve the quality of your life (or possibly the lives of others).

What if thoughts of failure, rejection, or judgment were replaced by boosts in confidence, courage, and strength resulting in successful actions and accomplishments?

Take a moment and consider these two statements:

• I want to make a change but I'm afraid of rejection, judgment, and failure.

• I am ready to make a change and will take on the challenges with clarity of mind, but I can't do it alone.

If they resonate with you, I'd like to offer you a free one-hour coaching session.

Together we can work on lowering the volume of that fearful voice in your head and raise the voice of confidence, courage, and strength against all those tigers that may cross your path.

Please e-mail me at innervoicelifecoach08@gmail.com to schedule an appointment. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope it has inspired and motivated you to take action to help ease any fears in your life that might be holding you back.

*Victor Frankl - Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher and author (1905-1997)